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my wife and I met in high school at age seventeen. We had several calsses together and I would help her
with her homework. We became best friends and would hang out at the mall on Saturdays together and I
would listen to all her boyfriend problems. I had never dated because I was too self-conscious, and shy
around girls.
She was, and still is, the most drop dead beautiful woman I've ever known. I have always
considered myself lucky that she would ever pick a guy like me. We ended up enrolling in the same college,
so we saw a lot of each other. Senior year of college she broke up with a guy she had been dating and
asked me out to help her drown her sorrows at a local bar. After several drinks we went back to her place
and she asked why all the guys she had dated couldn't be more like me. She told me how nice it was to
have such a good friend to share with and how conciderate and sensitive I was. She kissed me and we
started to make out.
We became boyfriend and girlfriend. I had heard stories from the guys about how
good she was in bed and I thought I would finaly lose my virginity, but she told me that nomatter what I'd
heard, she was also a virgin, and she was determined to stay that way until marriage. We dated though
college during which time she allowed me play with her breasts and to please her orally, but she felt it
wasn't proper to reciprocate and please me until we were married. She said something might happen that
she couldn't control and she'd never be able to live with herself and I respected her opinion. Needless to
say I was very good friends with my right hand and masturbated daily thinking about her.
The day finally
came when we were wed and spent our first night together. It was obvious I didn't know what to do, as I
had never been with a woman. She lovingly led me through it and as the years went by, the sex got better
with practice (thank God), but it was not at all as often as I would have liked, and it still included a lot of
one-way oral satisfaction for her, but that was fine with me. At least it was sex, and I would think about how
lucky I was to be able to taste her sweet pussy and drive her wild.
A couple years ago I started to "surf" the
Internet. I followed the newsgroups regularly, and soon discovered, by viewing several hundred photos of
couples making love, that in EVERY picture I saw of a man (even the Transsexuals), their penises were
much larger than mine. In fact most of the pictures I viewed of limp penises were still larger than mine when
erect! I took a tape measure and measured both limp and erect. Limp was 2 inches, while erect reached 4
1/4 inches, and about 1 inch in width. I read articles on the "average" male penis size that stated normal was
6 to 9 inches. This got me thinking about our love making. During sex I always had to be careful not to thrust
too hard or it would slip out, and to bring her to a climax I would always have to stimulate her by hand as we
made love. We used a cucumber on a couple occasions, when she had felt more kinky, and it had driven her
wild, so I got an idea. This has proved to be the stupidest idea I have ever had. I found on a web site a
"penis extension" that was 8 inches long and 2 inches wide, hollow with padding inside, and a strap to hold
it in place.
The day it arrived I couldn't wait to surprise my wife, but I decided to keep it a secret until the
time came to make love. It was a couple days before I could warm her up to the idea of having sex and by
then I was getting hot at the prospect of being a "real" man and pleasing my wife with a penis of proper
proportions. After the usual foreplay it was time. I left the room and put on the dildo. When I came back in
the room I climbed over her and started gently rubbing the big dick over her pussy. She reached down and
touched it wondering what it was. On came the lights! After explaining what it was and how I only wanted to
try to please her, we resumed where we had left off. I lubed up and slipped the big cock in side her and
began long hard strokes. Within seconds she was writhing and panting like I had never seen before. Her
tongue would lick at her lips, eyes closed, and she would bite her bottom lip and sigh. She reached a
tremendous climax in no time and lay back exhausted and said something like "Oh God, I never knew".
I
went unrelieved that night, satisfied to masturbate later thinking of how excited she got being made love to
by a large cock. A few days later we made love again. This time as we were to the point of insertion, she
pushed me away, and with a sweet smile, asked if I could please use my "big cock" again. I obliged and the
results were the same as before, if not even more intense. This started to become a common request each
time we would make love and our love making increased from about once a week to two or three times a
week. She would tell me how she loved the feel of my "big cock" inside her, and how intense her orgasms
were with it. I hadn't had an orgasm with her in months. She even had me leave it on after sex one time
while she assumed the "69" position, and as I ate her out, she gave a "blow job" to the dildo. This was a
little disturbing for the fact that she had NEVER given ME a blow job! She thought it was gross and dirty,
and was afraid I would cum in her mouth.
One night I voiced my opinion and told her that our love making
had become a one sided affair, with her the only one benefiting from it. She told me I was acting childish and
self centered, and with that she said "here BABY!, does this make you happy?" and started jerking me off
with her hand in a very mechanical way. Just as I started to climax, she pulled her hand away and stopped,
leaving me humping the air and producing just a dribble of cum and a unsatisfied climax. "Huh! that was fun."
she quipped, and she jumped up and left the room to get ready for bed. The next afternoon she lured me
into the bedroom seductively, dressed in a teddy and heels. I thought she was going to make up for the
previous night. The bed was pulled back and flowers were on the dresser, and there on my pillow... was the
dildo. I looked at her puzzled, and she asked me, with hands on hips, if I was going to have a problem with
this again. I said no and gave her what she wanted.
She too had started surfing the net and had me show
her how to access newsgroups. One day out of the blue she told me she had been researching castration,
and wondered if it was anything I had ever thought of. I asked her what she meant and she told me that
castration was just taking a vasectomy a step farther and could help eliminate the sexual frustration I was
experiencing, and "fix" me so we wouldn't have any unexpected surprises (as if we would using the dildo).
She said she wasn't quite sure how to put it, but that my male equipment being what it was, was kind of
useless, but that she loved me and loved the way I could make love to her with my "big cock" now and said
she was sorry but she could never go back to the old way. She said I that turned her on and felt like a real
man now, but that my whining was ruining it and she wasn't sure she could stay with me unless I made some
serious changes for her. She had printed piles of documents and letters from the web, listing all the
advantages of castration, like living longer, fewer mood swings, better control though hormone injections,
etc. For weeks that's all she would talk to me about. I had resigned to the fact that to please her sexually I
had to use the dildo, and to keep her happy I would have to go along with the castration. I felt my life might
just be better like she said, if I was castrated, so I could end the mental torment I was going through and
end my sulking about not getting my own sexual release and gratification.
She set an appointment to see a
(lady) doctor. After several visits and counseling sessions with the two of us (my wife doing most of the
talking), all the appropriate papers were signed and a date was set to have my balls removed. The morning
of the opperation I was very scared. My wife calmed me down by giving me the best hand job I had had in
years while giving me verbal encouragement as she did it, and assuring me that our sex life would soon start
to blossom.
The operation went smooth and relativly painless. It felt strange not having balls or a sack. My
little dick just sort of hung down without anything to support it. After a few days my sex drive diminished and
I could no longer ejaculate when I masturbated. I tried testosterone injections soon after surgery but was
stopped because of what she called "nasty mood swings" that made me behave like an "ass". We still
continued to have sex on a regular basis and it seemed better (for her) than it had ever been.
About a year
after my castration I was getting out of the shower one morning, when my wife walked into the bathroom.
She looked at my naked body, tiny penis drooping with no balls, and laughed. She told me she was sorry for
laughing, but she was so used to seeing me with my "big cock" and that she had forgotten how pathetic my
"little one" really looked, especially without any balls. "Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you...why don't
you just have it removed?" she asked. "It's useless now anyway, I can make arrangements with the same
doctor for you." Without my input, she informed me the following week, that she had made arrangements to
have it removed. "It will look and feel so much better" she said. I guess I really didn't care anymore anyway.
It wasn't as if it was useful to me anymore, in fact it was kind of in the way sometimes. Things since then
have really taken a turn. The surgery was completed and I was left with a small hole to pee out of, just
below the base of where my penis was. It took some time to heal but it does look much better now, with
little or no scaring, but unfortunatly somehow during the procedure the muscle that controls my bladder was
injured, leaving my with total loss of bladder control and forcing me to wear diapers. I guess it was stated in
the fine print so I was supposed to know it could happen. My wife and the doctor had shoved the papers at
me to sign saying it's all the customary forms for surgery, and told me just to sign them. It probably wouldn't
have made a difference at the time.
Since I now must be diapered all the time, our lovemaking has taken a
strange twist. I was given a new dildo that has a latex "panty" in flesh color, and a non-hollow didlo
attached to it with a vibrator and fake balls. She seems to REALLY like this one and it fits over my diapers. I
feel embarased sometimes when we're making love, the constant dribbling of pee into my diaper as I pump
away with my dildo dick, but my wife enjoys it and she constantly reminds me how much better our
relationship is now than before the operations. She really has been supportive throughout this period of my
life. Shortly after the castration surgery I started to develop small "breasts". This must have excited or
pleased my wife in some way, because she started me on hormones again...except estrogen this time,
again showing me all her information supporting this desision. I am slowly taking on the characteristics of a
woman. She insists I keep my body clean shaven (she likes it that way) and recently she purchased some
bras and other female clothing for me to wear when we're together. She tells me how much better I look
this way and that it is so much more practical to wear a skirt or dress, because it hides my diapers much
better and makes changing them a lot easier. I guess she's right, but I still feel a little strange dressed as a
woman, though I must say when I look in the mirror, I kind of look more female than male now.
Yesterday I
was even mistaken for a woman by a guy at the gas station. My wife told me that since I'm no longer a
man, and so much closer to being a woman , that I should assume the role that fits me better. She's been
discussing the possibility of my living as a woman "full time", but I need to give it more thought. I'm sure it's
bound to happen though because once she gets an idea, she never lets up until she gets her way. The only
sexual gratification I receive now is when she uses my dildo up my ass. Because I can't stop the dribbling of
urine, she just pulls my diaper over to one side to fuck me. We tried it once without my diapers, but she said
my leaking was a turn-off for her (and a mess). I never would have thought I would enjoy something I once
would have thought so bizarre, but it gives me a slight orgasm when she does it long enough. I guess I'll
take what I can get these days. I'm never horny any more, but once she starts in on me with the dildo, I sort
of melt, and I don't want her to stop. This works good for her because she can fuck me whenever she
decides she wants to, and I don't complain and bother her like I used to.
Much of the time when we're
together, she lies on the couch and has me sit at her feet and massage them for her. We also seem to talk
a lot more about things that interest her and she tells me she loves how much closer we've become as
friends since I'm not so sexually frustrated and demanding. But now for the bad part. About a week ago she
started telling me that she wondered how a real dick as big as my dildo would feel inside her (she stopped
calling it my "big cock" and now refers to it as "your dildo"). I had done all this to please her and now I felt
like I was being rejected...like I was a freak. I just knew she was up to something.
Yesterday when I came
home from work, I found her in the bedroom with another man, or I guess I should just say a man, and I
watched in shock as they continued to have wild primal sex. I couldn't move or speak I was so shocked. All I
could do was watch them as tears streamed from my eyes. He was a muscular guy and hung even bigger
than my 8 inch dildo. My wife seemed to be enjoying it more than she had ever with me. She had her eyes
open, looking at him and making soft moaning and whimpering sounds. She always closed her eyes
whenever we made love! As I watched them, I envisioned myself as the veral stud with the massive cock,
pleasing my wife, but the reality of my condition hit me. I also envied her, being such a beautiful woman and
being fucked by a man who obviusly knew how to please a woman, but again I thought of my current
condition and was heart broken to think that I could never be that man with the masive cock, or a sexy
woman with an inviting pussy. Though I had started to look like a woman, I was neither a man or a woman, I
was a diapered eunuch standing in my own bedroom watching a stranger fuck my georgous wife as pee
dribbled from my little pee hole between my legs. When they were finished the guy rolled over and looked at
me with a grin and said "your wife's one fantastic lay, you don't know what your missing!" and he got out of
bed and lit a cigarette and sat down. My wife never allowed smoking in our house, so even that was a
shock. I was heart broken and started sobbing uncontrollably and covered my face. I didn't know how to
react. I knew as a "husband" I should beat him up or something, but I felt so weak and intimidated by him.
She called me over to the bed and told my to sit down. She gave me a passionate kiss and caressed my
cheek, running her fingers through my hair as she slipped off my clothing peice by piece, until I was clad only
in my obviously wet diaper. She told me she loved me and will always love me, and that I turn her on in my
own special way. "I want you." she said as she layed me down and straddled my face the way she often
does to have me eat her out. "Oh baby, do that special thing you do." she said. This time was much different
though, cum from their recent love making started running into my mouth in what seemed like gallons. I had
to keep swallowing it to keep from choking. After what seemed like forever, she shuddered and excreted
whatever was left in her one final time. When I sat up I realized the guy in the chair had been jerking off as
he watched me clean my wife after their romp, and she had been facing him. She introduced us and said he
would be coming over a lot from now on, and would make both of us happy. When I looked at her with
sadness and concern, she laughed and said "Oh honey, you've got to get over the silly notion that your a
man and except what you really are, as I do". She then asked me if I'd ever wondered what a real cock
would feel like inside me and started to tell me how wonderful it was describing the feelings.
I had to leave
the room and gather my thoughts so I came to the computer to write my story to all of you in this newsgroup
and tell you how my life took this huge U-turn, and all because of a strap on dildo! It really does help to write
things down to sort them out. Guys, don't get yourself into a mess like I did. I look back and remember how
much I enjoyed making love to her, even though I was built so tiny. After I started to use the dildo, I didn't
mind it all that much having to masturbate after we had sex to get myself off. I should have kept my mouth
shut and enjoyed what I had. I feel nothing sexual now, and I'm wondering what's next. I'm not sure I like the
direction this is going but I don't dare leave because I know I would never find a woman, like my wife, who
could accept me as I've now become. I'm so confused and I feel like such a fool. I guess I'll just have to let
her do what she feels is best for me, and trust in her.
The End?
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